Courtesy of the Texas Observer:

“I’ve already yielded more than a cheerleader at a drive-in.”
—Sen. Kel Seliger (R-Amarillo) on the Senate floor.

“I can’t define yours for you or you define mine for me. I don’t have a word-for-word description of it, but any adult who is involved with sex at all in their life—they know it when they see it. I can’t give you a demonstration this evening.”
—Rep. Al Edwards (D-Houston) on which sexually suggestive moves his sexy cheerleader bill would outlaw.

“I’m not sure we’d want one,”
replied Rep. Kent Grusendorf (R-Arlington).

“It’s a learned behavior. It’s kind of like domestic violence or someone who drinks. There was someone in the family or close to the family who caused that.”
—Rep. Robert Talton (R-Pasadena) on homosexuality.

“The bottom line is we’re talking about murdering a perfectly viable functioning person. I don’t think the risk of damage to a vital organ [of the mother] justifies reaching that level.”
—Rep. Will Hartnett (D-Dallas) during a floor debate on whether to restrict certain late term abortions.

“Every time I get stopped they want to search my vehicle.”
—Sen. Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa (D-McAllen) on the need for consent searches to stop harassment of people who look like him.

“We are using fingerprints, face prints, pretty soon we are going to be using butt prints.”
—Rep. Garnet Coleman (D-Houston) on the passage of a law that forces all Texans to give biometric information to the Department of Public Safety in order to get a drivers’ license.

“This bill allows for demographically challenged people to get a voucher, to get a scholarship out of a low-performing public school.”
—Rep. Rob Eissler (R-The Woodlands) championing vouchers.

“I take offense when people associate me and my race and my culture with a social ill. I don’t see how the two relate to each other. I just wanted to make that clear.”
—Rep. Al Edwards (D-Houston) outraged at a comparison of discrimination based on race with discrimination based on sexual orientation.

“In a contest of wills, the House has an iron will, and the Senate ranges anywhere from frozen butter to melted butter. But it’s still butter.”
—Rep. Pete Gallego (D-Alpine) as quoted in The Dallas Morning News.

“What I have going on personally doesn’t have a m-----f------ thing to do with nothing. If that’s what you are after, f--- you.”
—Rep. Harold Dutton (D-Houston) responding to a reporter’s impertinent question.

“Can you imagine the kind of B.S. we’d be passing without them?”
—Rep. Kino Flores (D-Mission), as quoted in The Dallas Morning News on why lobbyists are important.